Saturday, 18 June 2016


So here is my list of the best and worst actors in the movie Udta Punjab. The main criteria of judgement is not who is more sexy or pumped up , rather, who portrays the role that they have been assigned most realistically !!!


Numero Uno - 1. Dog Jackie Chan

This is the dog kept by the drug mafia don at his farmhouse/ kothi. The actor knows his role, delivers his dialogues (bark) perfectly in a manner to sound ferocious and deterrent and actually makes you regret that the duration of the role was so small.

Second Best - 2.Prabhjyot Singh as Balli (Addicted younger brother of Sartaj Singh)

As you can make out from the picture above, this guy is talented. He is feeling guilty at having killed Sartaj Singh's (his elder brother's ) girlfriend Dr. Preet Sahni and it's amazing how he is conveying it. He truly rocked in the movie. Of course, in all probability, since he may not be the son of a powerful actor in real life, his work will be mostly ignored or limited to passable mentions by the paid media and paid critics and bloggers.

Third best - 3.Diljit Dosanj as ASI Sartaj Singh

Notwithstanding the sometimes stupid and sometimes atrocious script given to him and notwithstanding the fact that some bloggers are saying that his role will be appreciated since he is popular in North India, this guy pulled off the complex role of a simple corrupt police officer whose conscience is awakened on seeing his own younger brother becoming an addict. He looks the part and the only moments he looks out of place is when the Director's and Writers make him act horny for Kareena Kapoor while she is explaining Punjab's supposedly complex drug problem. Watch out for this guy. (If THEY let him)

4rth Best - 4. Manav Vij (As boss of Sartaj Singh)

Another precious gem in the movie, Manav essays the role of a corrupt cop who is practical, realistic and completely in terms with his evil side. He is part of the "system" and has no qualms about it. He is protective of Sartaj Singh in a fatherly sort of fashion. Exactly the kind of real life senior cops you find.

5th Best - 5. Vansh Bhardwaj (A goon who rapes Alia but is sympathetic to her) and Suhail Nayyar (Close friend of Rockstar Tommy Singh)
Vansh Bhardwaj

Suhail Nayyar in Udta Punjab
Both dudes gave electrifying performances. It's only because the directors and writers gave them limited supporting roles with limited screen time that I was forced to rank them 5th. But they managed to shine like brilliant stars in their brief moments on screen. Thank you Thank you both of you.

6th Best - 6. Anastasya Hamolka (As girlfriend of Rock Star Tommy Singh who appears to be constantly taking drugs)

Yep, she deserves due credit here. Cast as mere eye candy and for a very brief , insignificant role which doesn't have much to do with the story line (kind of like the type actors get through Casting Couch) this girl is a pearl, is all that I can say. With almost nothing more than a few milliseconds of screen time, this girl managed to elicit more responses from the audience than any other. Kudos to her.


Now lets hear it for the WORST and there is only 1 ranking here, since all 3 are horrible. They irritated the hell out of me, not only because of their poor performances, but also since it appeared that they have the audacity to think that the Indian audience can be sold any crap with good marketing and make up . They are being wrongly credited by all paid media and that is such a SHAME.


Shahid Kapoor (as drug addicted rock star Tommy Singh), Alia Bhat (as laborer Kumari Pinky) and Kareena Kapoor (as Dr. Preet Sahni)

The reason why they couldn't act, is because in reality, these three people are living such a sheltered and lavish lifestyle, that it's become part of their personality. All of them are second or third generation superstars and that's probably one of the main reasons that they are misfits in a movie which is not pure fantasy commercial cinema. 

Lets start with Shahid Kapoor, who was supposed to portray a role generally based on real life rock star Yo Yo Honey Singh. Shahid is pure failure at this. He is clearly overacting. While watching him, you don't think it's a rock star , but rather that it's Shahid Kapoor trying with long hair acting crazy and silly. In real life, Yo Yo Honey Singh comes across as so charismatic and interesting.Yo Yo comes across as naughty, emotional, cool but yet so dearly adorable.
 I think Shahid's portrayal was a huge huge disrespect to Yo Yo Honey Singh and Shahid should really apologize for the same.

Next blunder, Alia Bhat
Alia Bhat was supposed to portray a migrant labor, who gets caught up in the world of drugs and is raped even . Her character is supposed to portray the role of a girl from India's most humble backgrounds , but who is intelligent, sharp and with the resilience of tensile steel. Alia was lucky to have such a role written for her but boy did she mess up big time and really shouldn't have been cast for this challenging role.

Alia acts and talks more like a school girl doing her class play. You can make out she is Alia Bhat, a rich spoilt brat who has had it easy in life thanks to her father and has now applied black paint for her role. Her dialogue delivery is poor and sounds nothing like the hardened brash delivery of migrant labor from Bihar. Bihari Labor have awesome self esteem despite their economic backwardness and this reflects in their dialogue and body language as well. All this was not surprisingly missing from Alia's performance, for the obvious reason that she doesn't have a clue as what its like to work in the hot sun , without much food and water.

Final massacre by Kareena Kapoor

All her life, Kareena has suffered from the obvious disadvantage of having never been genuinely criticized. Her exotic lineage of the Kapoor bloodline, her new bloodline as wife of Saif Ali Khan, have ensured that everyone in Bollywood is scared shit of hurting the princess. She is much like Emperor's daughter, whose every shoddy performance will be applauded by the ministers who surround her.

Here too, Kareena never looks like a doctor from any angle. Nor an activist who is trying to fight the war on drugs. Rather, had the role been about a socialite with lots of free time and money to throw and who sometimes indulges in social work so as not to feel guilty about her wealth, it would have suited her better.

Her royal features make her look completely out of place and out of sync with the role which demanded a hard working , frustrated fighter of a woman who has tremendous technical know how about her field of specialization in medicine. In fact, when she was treating Balli (Sartaj Singh's drug addicted younger brother) the way she touched him looked more like a mother touching her son than a doctor a patient. Her dialogue delivery was not bad though and in some cases, did resemble that of a Doctor.

Filed under : #udtapunjab, #udtapunjabcensored, #udtapunjableaked


  1. Suhail Nayyar is the actor to watch out for. He rocks. I agree wiyh rottenmangoman that the film fraternity full of nepotism should stop trying to thrust actors like Alia Bhat and antagonizing Kareena Kapoor onto the faces of the audience

  2. Lol !! Most hilarious and hard hitting movie review I have read. :)