Sunday, 18 December 2016

STAR WARS ROGUE ONE ANOTHER PATHETIC STAR WARS STORY

STAR WARS ROGUE ONE  - THE FORCE GOES BACK TO SLEEP

Ok everyone, so you have seen the movie and were impressed by the visual effects, yet can't figure out why you didnt like the movie, even though all the PAID CRITICS begged you to watch the movie.

That has been the gift and curse of STAR WARS since the beginning. When the first STAR WARS movie was made, no one, not even the makers were expecting such a huge cult following. Even though those movies started from the middle of a plot, the audience lapped it up. The makers were shocked and dumbstruck with the massive success of the subsequent versions, but still didn't have a clue about what it was in the movie that was making the audience tick.

Unfortunately, they still don't. As things got more commercialized, (Disney now wants to milk this franchise), they decided to simply re package some main features of the original series. After the fiasco of the experimental Episodes I, II and III, this appeared to be the safest bet (along with multi billion dollar marketing of course) for FORCE AWAKENS and the current ROGUE ONE.

Its almost as if I got the list of points noted down by the script writers and approved by the producers.
So, if you get turned on by the following, repeatedly repeatedly repeated ideas, go WATCH:

1. Small kid separated from parents.
2. Rebels
3. Imperials with German Accents
4. Weird looking aliens
5. Rebels visit desert like "sinister" neighborhood
6. Philosophical guy saying mumbo jumbo about the "FORCE". This time they never even bothered researching Eastern Philosophy. The dude just keeps muttering"I am one with the Force, the Force is with me."
7.Death Star.
8. World war II type action on a "Normandy" type beach attack, by soldiers dressed like the Resistance and the Allies. (Ok, we all know you "won", now get over it)
9.Stupid robots with alphabetical names, but quirky one liners.
10. Guy in black dress and German helmet breathing heavily, deep voice and controlling stuff with his gestures.

The total lack of imagination and effort was appalling in this movie. A shameful insult to the original series and a deep lack of sensitivity to the intelligence of the audience.


Here is a favor to the Disney Team. I will let them know the real reasons STAR WARS IV, V and VI were so amazing

1.Its because the team making those movies WANTED to make a name for themselves. If you hire a team which is already well established and cozy and cushy with their lives, you will get a product with only half their effort and talent.

2. It gave the people in that era a now frontier, a new possibility to think about. Unfortunately that frontier about aliens, technologically far superior races, highly evolved spiritual beings has already been breached in Cinema, a million times over. Time to break go to the next level people!!!

The movie is shows an unprecedented brain deficit on the part of the concept team. So what will be the next SW movie be about? Life of Hans Solo as a child? Chewbacca's first orgasm?  Obi Wan's first wet dream?Its almost as if the makers of this movie have become the DEATH STAR of the STAR WARS concept and the series seriously needs a LUKE SKYWALKER to salvage whatever is left.

The only thing worthwhile which makes the movie watchable is the cameo by late Carrie Fisher , a brilliant actor, at the very end.

May the Force put some creativity into you!!!






1 comment: